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The Living Earth 

Last time on Theoretical Thursday I wrote about a widely known theory. There’s even a movie about it, but today it’s just me and my crazy theory.

There is no scientific evidence to corroborate my speculations nor is there any shred of evidence that I can provide, all I can do is tell you what I think and you can be the judge on whether or not it’s possible or not.

A more fantastical element of my theory exists in Religious Literature but my findings have no supernatural supposition. All I am writing down, is my inference.

So I got into George Carlin a few years back and one of his pieces really got me thinking. It goes something like this.

Save the Planet? We can’t even take care of ourselves and we want to save the f*****g planet? What are these people talking about? You know what it is? It’s self interest. They want a clean place to live, their own habitat. The planet doesn’t need our help. The planet is fine, the people are f****d. The planets been here four and a half  billion years, we’ve been here what a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand years. And we’ve only been engaged in heavy industry for about two hundred years, two hundred years vs four and a half billion and we have the conceit to think that somehow were a threat? That somehow we’re going to put into jeopardy this beautiful blue green ball that’s just a floatin’ around the sun?

He talks about the planet as if it’s a living thing even going so far as to say that the planet itself could have engineered some kind of dangerous sexually transmitted disease that compromises our immune system in order to control our population. Now I understand that this is a skit that is part of a stand up comedy show but the idea of a living planet just couldn’t escape my mind.

See I asked myself why do we have earthquakes? The answer is that pressure builds up deep underground breaks the bedrock sending tremors upwards and shaking the ground in what we call an earthquake. Now that is a simple and concise explanation of what occurs in an earthquake, but it is an example of how an earthquake happens not why an earthquake happens.

Here me out. Actually you don’t have to but just read on since I know how bizarre it sounds.

What if the earth was a living, breathing, moving organism?

Now I will draw some parallels that are far fetched and I doubt any of you would be convinced of my theory but it is one that I am putting forth here.

Okay, the root cause of earthquakes, not the breaking of the bed rock and such, though that is happening, is because the earth as an organism is shifting it’s skin!

Here are the parallels, it gets a little icky.

The crust is the skin of the organism, the trees are hair or fur, magma or lava is the blood, volcanoes well they seem awfully similar to pimples and boils on an organism doesn’t it? And unfortunately the sea, is the urine. I told you it was going on get icky!

Now obviously scientific research blows all these theories out of the water but it is fun to speculate. Science tells us that rain fall is slightly acidic this rain dissolves salt minerals from rocks and carrys them down the rivers and out to the sea, over time this process makes the sea as salty as it is.

Now thats all fine and good but what if the creature that we are living on is, well it’s excretory organs are under the sea and over time it has urinated enough to cover three quarters of itself.

Okay I’m gonna stop talking about Earth urine incase people refuse to go swimming! Let’s discuss the blood. We have micro organisms living on and inside us, we can’t see them because they are microscopic, just like we can’t be seen from just say a few hundred meters out of the stratosphere. Now to these micro organisms on our body, what would a boil erupting look like? What would a bleeding cut look like? How hot would our blood feel to those organisms? I don’t really know, but I think it would feel and look like lava flow and volcanic eruptions.

When lava cools it becomes black and solid over the surface of the earth just like a wound scabs over and the blood dries. With the fortunate presence of limbs we can wipe off the blood but the earth doesn’t have that convenience so the scabs and the dried blood stays there.

Let’s talk about its skin. Have you ever seen a cow try to shake off flies from its back? It’s skin ripples, shakes and shudders to remove the annoying tick. Well, imagine the earth as an organism and we as that tick. We have drilled into its skin, we have bulldozed into it, we have shaved it’s hair, we have bombed it we have bled it’s bones dry and it has no defense. None at all. Except for its skin.

You wanna know how the planet’s doin’? Ask those people at Pompeii, who were frozen into position from volcanic ash. How the planet’s doin’. Wanna know if the planet’s alright, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia, or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. – George Carlin. 

Is the earth sentient? Is the Japan Tsunami that destroyed the nuclear power plant a coincidence or is it a retaliation? I have a feeling that Penn & Teller would have loved to have me on Bullshit! But say it is, say that the earth is going to take revenge on all that we have done to it. I would think after all the exploiting that we have done it would be a well deserved end.

Religious Doctrine, as I mentioned above, has a kind of similar myth about one of their deities. Specifically the Hindu religion which talks about the Dharti Maata. Dharti as in the Earth and Maata as in Mother. The Earth Mother.

She is this Gaia-esque deity that grants us stability and knowledge and nurtures us and blah blah blah, everything else that these gods supposedly offer. Anyways she is supposed to be the Earth Mother and we are supposed to respect the earth and the trees and so on and so forth. Maybe this myth came to being due to the fear of the organism we live on? Or maybe it’s just religious stupidity.

There is a story in Hindu religious doctrine that tells us of how the sea got salty Agasthya a wise saint was asked by the gods to reveal demons that they were fighting who had hidden in the ocean. Agasthya drank the oceans dry, yeah I know  how that  sounds, then once the demons were killed he urinated out the water so it became salty! So maybe that mimics some of my points.

But these are all supernatural ideas with no basis in facts, not that mine is based on any sort of facts but at least it’s not as far fetched as drinking the ocean!

So? Is the earth sentient or not? Tell me what you think down in the comments. Follow me to get the latest posts straight away and check back tomorrow for FPS Friday if you’re into gaming. If theories are your thing though then come back next week Thursday for another one. 

I’ll write to you again soon.


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